and that’s a wrap

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2024, you were a lot.

It wasn’t all bad, but it wasn’t all good either. If I had to describe it, I’d say 2024 was the kind of year that humbles you, breaks you open, and forces you to grow in ways you didn’t think you needed. So, as the calendar flips, here’s a look back at the lessons, moments, and tiny joys that defined the past 12 months:

I. There’s something inherently magical about holding a camera.

II. Drawing and journaling became my personal rituals this year — a way to express emotions when words fell short. My sketches are far from perfect. Lines wobble, colors clash, and my handwriting is barely legible most of the time. But maybe that’s the point. Art isn’t about perfection; it’s about the process. Every line, every shade of color represents something I was feeling at that moment—anger, sadness, or just the simple need to let something out.

III. Life is Unpredictable (and always will be) If there’s one truth I’ve come to terms with this year, it’s that life is a wild, unpredictable mess. It humbles you in ways you never see coming. Life doesn’t pause when you need a break, and it doesn’t follow the plans you so carefully make. This year, I lost two people I love deeply—my uncle and my grandmother. Losing them left a silence that no amount of words could fill. On top of that, I struggled to finish my thesis on time, and for months, my mental health took a nosedive. There were moments when I felt like I was at rock bottom, questioning everything. But as painful as these moments were, they taught me something invaluable: life doesn’t owe you consistency. It won’t always make sense or fit into the plans you so carefully crafted. And maybe that’s where the growth happens — not in the comfort of predictability, but in the unpredictability itself.

IV. I spent more nights out this year than I expected, exploring bars and trying new cocktails—a small joy that became a bigger part of my life, from smoky old fashioneds to bright citrusy Negronis and sweet cocktails. It’s funny how a smoky old-fashioned or a zesty Negroni can carry a memory, not of the drink itself but of the people you shared it with. But it wasn’t just about the drinks. It was the people I met along the way. 2024 brought new friends into my life—kind, funny, thoughtful people who made even the hardest days feel lighter. Looking back, these experiences were more than just nights out.

V. If there’s one thing that kept my spirit alive this year, it was music. I got to attend some incredible concerts and gigs. Being in a crowd, singing your heart out with strangers, feeling the bass vibrate through your chest—it's a kind of therapy you can’t replicate. For a few hours, nothing else mattered. The music drowned out the noise of everyday life, and I felt like I was part of something bigger than myself, and the best way to heal is to let yourself get lost in the sound.

VI. This year, I learned the hard way that attachment is a double-edged sword. The tighter you hold onto something—or someone — the more it hurts when you have to let go. I realized that attachment isn’t always healthy. It can make you cling to things that no longer serve you, or people who are no longer meant to stay. And while letting go is never easy, it’s necessary. What struck me the most is that even when you know it’s the right thing to do, the pain of loss never really changes. It always feels the same—sharp, empty, and raw. But maybe that’s the cost of loving deeply.

VII. For years, I relied on the validation of others to feel worthy. Compliments, achievements, external praise—they felt like proof that I was enough. But this year, I began to understand that self-worth doesn’t come from outside; it comes from within. I finally understood that no amount of external validation will ever fill the void if I don’t believe in myself. It’s not about how many people say you’re talented, beautiful, or worthy. If you don’t truly feel those things for yourself, their words will never stick. Self-love isn’t just a cliché—it's the foundation for everything else. Learning to validate myself was one of the hardest lessons, but also the most freeing.

VIII. Hope is a funny thing. It keeps you going but can also set you up for disappointment if you’re not careful. Hope can be a beautiful thing, but it’s also dangerous. It keeps you going when everything feels bleak, but it can also blind you to reality. This year, I learned to balance hope with acceptance—to dream without losing touch with the present. It’s a tricky line to walk, but one worth learning.

IX. I thought healing was supposed to get easier with time. But every loss, every goodbye still stings the same as the first. It doesn’t matter how many times I go through it — the pain never really dulls. What I’ve come to understand is that healing isn’t a straight path. There are days when you feel okay, and days when it all comes rushing back. And that’s okay. Progress isn’t always visible, but it’s there in the little steps forward.

X. After the depressive fog started to lift, I found myself turning to art. Music, movies, books—they became my anchors. Exploring art reminded me that there’s always something worth discovering, something that makes the world feel a little bigger, a little brighter.

XI. Through all the ups and downs, I’m grateful for the blessings that remain—good health, a supportive family, and the simple joy of being alive. This year wasn’t easy, but it was full of lessons, and for that, I’m thankful.

XII. I learned that silence doesn’t have to be uncomfortable.

XIII. I failed more than I succeeded this year. In fact, there were times when I felt like I was drowning in disappointment. But each failure taught me something — about resilience, about patience, and about how much I underestimate my ability to bounce back. If anything, failing reminded me that success isn’t about getting it right every time; it’s about showing up again, even when it’s hard.

XIV. Friendships and relationships took on new shapes this year. Some grew deeper, some faded away, and others ended entirely. At first, I saw the changes as losses, but over time, I realized they were just evolutions. People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime—and it’s okay to let go when their chapter in your story ends.

XV. Setting boundaries was one of the hardest things I did this year. Saying “no” to people I care about felt selfish at first, but I realized that protecting my energy isn’t just for me — it’s for them too. A burned-out version of me isn’t the version anyone deserves. Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re acts of love for both sides.

XVI. I learned the value of slowing down. I started giving myself permission to pause — to rest, to take a break, to say, “I’ll try again tomorrow.” The world didn’t fall apart when I stopped to breathe, and that was a lesson I didn’t know I needed.

XVII. There’s something grounding about being reminded that the world is so much bigger than your worries.

XVIII. Forgiving others is hard, but forgiving myself? That felt impossible at times. This year, I started to practice self-compassion—not just for the mistakes I made, but for the things I didn’t know at the time. Forgiveness isn’t about erasing the past; it’s about choosing to move forward without the weight of it.

XIX. If there’s one thing 2024 gave me, it’s a better relationship with myself. I learned to celebrate my small wins, to be kinder to the parts of me that still hurt, and to stop chasing a version of myself that doesn’t exist. Loving myself doesn’t mean I have it all figured out — it just means I’m willing to keep trying.

XX. If 2024 taught me anything, it’s that we’re all works in progress. There’s no finish line, no moment where you “arrive.” And that’s okay. Growth isn’t a destination; it’s a lifelong journey.

To Close: My Picks for 2024

Before we wrap up, here are a few things that made this year better:

• Movie (all release in 2024) :

1. Inside Out 2
2. Dune Part Two
3. Deadpool & Wolverine
4. The Substance
5. Nosferatu
6. The Brutalist
7. Longlegs
8. Exhuma
9. Anora
10. The Wild Robot

• Book:

1. Brave New World — Aldous Huxley
2. Subliminal How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behaviour — Leonard Mlodinow
3. Teka Teki Rumah Aneh — Uketsu
4. Women Who Love Too Much — Robin Norwood
5. Animal Farm- George Orwell

• TV Show:

1. Bojack (always been my favorite)
2. The Bear Season 2
3. Band of Brothers
4. Family Guy
5. Shrinking
6. Severance
7. Arcane
8. Dandadan
9. True Detective
10. Chernobyl

• Music (based on my On Repeat in 2024) There’s a lot, but here are my top 10:

1. Biru — Barefood
2. For Sure — American Football
3. Heaven’s on Fire — The Radio Dept
4. Everything Is Embarrassing — Sky Ferreira
5. Drown — The Smashing Pumpkins
6. I Would Hate You If I Could — Turnover
7. Woman (in mirror) — La Dispute
8. Bersandarlah — The Jeblogs
9. Lonely Fight — Mk.gee
10. Your Loves Whore — Wolf Alice

• Album (2024):

1. Romance—Fontaines, D.C.
2. Bright Future — Adrianne Lenker
3. Charm — Clairo
4. In Waves — Jamie XX
5. Two Star & the Dream Police — Mk.gee
6. Guided Tour — High Vis
7. Raw Blue — Whirr

And just like that, 2024 is wrapping up. It’s been a year — messy, unpredictable, sometimes really tough, but also filled with little pockets of joy and lessons that’ll stick with us.

I hope next year will be my year — and not just next year, but every year moving forward, no matter how unpredictable life can be. May I find the strength to face the unknown, the courage to embrace every twist and turn, and the grace to turn challenges into growth. Here’s to making the best of whatever comes my way.

Thank you to everyone who was part of my journey this past year, whether we’re still in each other’s lives or not. To the friends who stayed, thank you for holding me together. To those who left, thank you for the lessons you taught me. To the new people I met, you reminded me that life is full of surprises and fresh beginnings.

This year, I gained new passions, lost old ones, found myself falling in love — with life, with ideas, with people, with moments I never expected. There were days when everything felt like too much, but somehow, those were also the days that taught me the most. If we laughed together, cried together, or even shared just a fleeting moment, know that you’ve shaped a part of this chapter. Thank you for being a part of it.

For 2025, I wish you more of those sparks. I hope you find the kind of peace that feels like coming home to yourself. I hope you laugh so hard your cheeks hurt. I hope you take chances, even when they scare you, and I hope you give yourself grace on the days when things don’t go as planned. I hope you find moments that make your heart feel full. I hope you meet people who bring out the best in you, and I hope you remember to let go of things (and people) that don’t. Be kind to yourself, take breaks when you need them, and don’t be afraid to go after the things you really want — even if they scare you a little.

Remember, you don’t have to have it all figured out. Life isn’t a race, and the journey is where the magic happens. So take it one step at a time, and don’t forget to celebrate how far you’ve already come. Even if it didn’t always feel like it, you’ve made progress. You’ve grown. And that’s huge.

for soft hearts, big dream and endless smile for 2025 ❤

Thank you for the time. Happy New Year.